Sleep. It’s the word we use for a daily occurrence in our lives. A simple word, and yet it brings on polar-opposite feelings to various people.

Are you a joyful or a fearful sleeper?

Some feel joy when they hear the word; others feel fear. The ones that are in the “joy” camp know that they will be able to lay their head down on their pillow at the end of the day and drift blissfully off to a relaxed, reconstructive time of rest. They may have an occasional night of tossing and turning, but it’s not the norm, so the concept of going to bed at night needn’t be feared. 

Then there are the others—the ones who legitimately feel a knot in their stomach when they think about climbing into that bed, oh so tired and desperately wanting to sleep, but knowing the sandman will have a hard time finding them, if he can locate them at all.

Which camp am I in? The joy camp. But have I always been there? 

Sleep didn’t always come easy for me

Nope. It was sometimes hard to go to bed when I was a kid, particularly on the hot summer nights.  We didn’t have air conditioning. The pillow became an enemy trying to strangle me with the matted sweaty hair it created in my overheated bedroom. How could anyone sleep in those conditions? 

I also remember waking up in the night as a child and wishing fervently for the sun to come up, so the day could begin, bringing normalcy back to life. The dark room was spooky and regular items took on weird, twisted features. 

One night, when I was sleeping in my sister’s room, I woke up to find a witch with a pointed hat climbing through her window. I was, of course, paralyzed with fear.  After finally passing out against my will into dreamland, I woke up in the morning to find that the “witch” was constructed of a shelf unit near the window with some clothing hanging off its top.  But that’s run-of-the-mill kid stuff.

Adult responsibilities can wreak havoc on your sleep

What about once you become an adult? What keeps us from sleeping? In my case, it was the haunting troubles of living as an adult in this world. There were various difficult things to think about and dwell on (bills, relationships, disappointments, failures, embarrassing incidents, child-rearing, etc.). There were grudges to nurse. There were things to fear that could possibly happen in the future! 

Pro Tip:  Sound sleep may only be one easy word away!

This may sound ridiculously easy, and it sort of is. Maybe it works for me because I started using it before life was too terribly complicated.  I started as a kid, and it became a habit that could pull me through most of the ups and downs of life. 

Here is the great big tip—just say: “No.” 

Huh? you might ask. Here’s what I mean. When my head hit the pillow and the sleep-delaying thoughts started to come, I learned to push them right back out. I remember telling myself, “Nope, not going to think about that right now.” Push, and out it went.

Time for those sleep-thieving thoughts to be Gone With the Wind 

I’m certainly not the originator of the concept. After Rhett Butler, from Gone with the Wind fame, delivers his famous line, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn,” and Miss Scarlett O’Hara watches him march off into the fog while wondering how to get him back, she declares, “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.”

Perfect reaction! Why go crazy when you can shove it off your plate (and mind) for the night. 

I don’t mean to make this sound like there’s no struggle. Don’t think it’s as easy as it sounds. Sometimes those bothersome thoughts can take several runs at you, but you must remain strong, like a tall stone wall. No unpleasant thoughts can breach the wall. You’ll stand at the top of the wall to repel all invaders.

But don’t forget to set the stage

And by the way:  a good pillow, a memory foam mattress, the right room temperature, a non-snoring partner, and the right pj’s that don’t restrict (or bunch up) don’t hurt either.