As a general principle, you just don’t want to hit the sack when you’ve got an ax to grind. But sometimes things don’t go as planned. 

Your pleasantly quiet evening is winding down, dinner was fantastic, everything seems fine, and then it happens:  some silly argument pops up and you overreact.  Now you’re angry, maybe fuming; you know in your heart of hearts that it’s inconsequential, but darn it, you’ve got a right to be upset and you’re not about to just give in and let it go.  Not to mention that backing down will serve as a major tipoff that you know full well that you are kind of, sort of, maybe even totally in the wrong, and you’re just not ready to admit fault.

Soon it’s bedtime.  Maybe you’re feeling a little guilty that you’ve let things drag on, but hey, your feelings matter, and if you don’t figure out how to sell your little anger-charade, you’ll never be taken seriously again.  Back down now and all credibility goes down the drain!  So just climb into bed, fluff up your pillow, turn away from your bedmate, assume a stiffened posture (helps communicate how upset and disappointed you are), then hope things are resolved by morning time.

Don’t Double Down on Disappointment

Bad idea!  The vibe you’re nursing is sure to choke out any hope for a full night of restful sleep.  It will likely keep you from nodding off quickly, and if your bedmate happens to drift off before you do, that will only serve to further enrage you, thereby making matters worse.  Even if you do nod off in a reasonable amount of time, it’s almost a given that the subconscious churning of your unresolved anger will wake you up way too soon.  

As a general principle, you just don’t want to hit the sack when you’ve got an ax to grind. Whether it’s with your bedmate, or anyone else near and dear to you.  Bite the bullet, lay down your pride, get those nagging issues behind you, and enjoy a good night’s sleep.

Here’s some sage advice from everyone’s favorite old TV show, The Brady Bunch.

Okay, it was a corny show, but that doesn’t mean the Bradys have nothing to offer us.  In this case, Mike and Marcia were on the money and their advice was in line with that famous biblical admonition for bedtime anger management.  Here’s my loose paraphrase: “Don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath.”